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Gender Awakening-Joanne

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This is the first time I have written. I was a CDI member and key holder for a number of years until about 2003. Then I left because I felt I needed to move on. I haven’t dressed since. I had purged multiple times before CDI but always found the urges returning eventually. Last year it happened again so I rejoined although not as a key holder. I have enjoyed reading the Bulletin since although I haven’t yet visited the apartment. I haven’t dressed again yet and have not yet gotten a wardrobe this time. I have thought about becoming a key holder again to have a place to keep things and to express this side of myself when I can and want to. For me, it seems that it is always only a matter of time before my desires and actual dreams return. No one in my “real life” knows and no one will. My potential losses are too great and I don’t want to hurt those I love. But the urge never goes away permanently for me. CDI was a refuge and those of you, if any, who remember me may well see me again.
Thanks Joanne 
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About cdinyc2012

Crossdressers International Incorporated is a member-supported adult transgendered group focused on support and social activities, serving the New York City metropolitan area. CDI is qualified as a non-profit corporation under section 501(c) 7 of the federal tax code. In the beginning, as stated in “Our History”, our founders envisioned CDI to be an all inclusive, welcoming haven for those seeking to come to terms with their transgendered nature. While the majority of our members and friends identify as cross dressers, we have served as a refuge for those who identify as transsexual, drag queen, and gender queer as well. Historically, our focus has been on the m-f crossdresser/transgendered. However, we do welcome those who identify from the f-m experience. While many of our members are long time comfortable with their transgender identity, we have never lost sight that our basic mission is to stand ready to provide a welcoming sanctuary for those who are taking their very first steps of self discovery. We know from our own experience that this can be a frightening time for those who have been closeted. The fear of loss of family, friends, employment, and standing in ones community can be overwhelming. And all for merely being gender different. Even today in our changing times the fear of discovery, ridicule, and worse can be terrifying for those who are attempting to safely practice their gender expression. WE are here for you. We make no claims of being “expert” in any matters, yet through our individual and collective experience we are highly knowledgeable. CDI also serves as a resource center where we can direct you to qualified professionals should that be desired. In short, we believe that groups like ours help to save lives. Sometimes just a welcoming smile and spoken kindness can be enough to assure someone (and maybe that’s you!) that they are not alone. For whatever reason each of us were dealt this hand from birth. For years many of us have considered it a curse. At CDI we believe that once liberated from the isolation of the closet that in time you will come to see your own transgenderism as a “gift”. So whether experienced or not, come - We welcome you, and we exist for you!

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