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Gender Awakenings- Telling a Loved One

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I just read an inspiring article regarding problems – “Switch, Don’t Solve”. The crux of the article was that you should not look at the problem. Look for something that works (the article called it “a bright spot”) and apply it. We all do that now in many cases, but the article made me think of how I can use this “awakened” idea. I don’t have problems anymore (lol), but my transgender community has a common problem (I wish it was only one). It is a very serious problem. Many of us eventually need to tell someone we love – a grandparent, a parent, a wife, a child or someone else – about our secret.

I found telling my children (my wife died 2 decades ago) to be the most difficult thing I ever dealt with. After 7 months, I still think of it with tears in my eyes, because I literally cried every time I thought about telling my kids for 2 weeks before I actually did. Of course, success depends on all parties, but how you do it impacts the result. It is a highly emotional experience and we need to apply successful methods.

I have read some postings that told of both how well it turned out or how poorly it ended. However, the “methods” used were not described. I feel that as a community we should share these successes as we do for where to get femme services, etc. I have been doing research and written several pages on the subject, but I am no expert and I only expressed my opinion. It seems logical, but may only be “hogwash”.


About cdinyc2012

Crossdressers International Incorporated is a member-supported adult transgendered group focused on support and social activities, serving the New York City metropolitan area. CDI is qualified as a non-profit corporation under section 501(c) 7 of the federal tax code. In the beginning, as stated in “Our History”, our founders envisioned CDI to be an all inclusive, welcoming haven for those seeking to come to terms with their transgendered nature. While the majority of our members and friends identify as cross dressers, we have served as a refuge for those who identify as transsexual, drag queen, and gender queer as well. Historically, our focus has been on the m-f crossdresser/transgendered. However, we do welcome those who identify from the f-m experience. While many of our members are long time comfortable with their transgender identity, we have never lost sight that our basic mission is to stand ready to provide a welcoming sanctuary for those who are taking their very first steps of self discovery. We know from our own experience that this can be a frightening time for those who have been closeted. The fear of loss of family, friends, employment, and standing in ones community can be overwhelming. And all for merely being gender different. Even today in our changing times the fear of discovery, ridicule, and worse can be terrifying for those who are attempting to safely practice their gender expression. WE are here for you. We make no claims of being “expert” in any matters, yet through our individual and collective experience we are highly knowledgeable. CDI also serves as a resource center where we can direct you to qualified professionals should that be desired. In short, we believe that groups like ours help to save lives. Sometimes just a welcoming smile and spoken kindness can be enough to assure someone (and maybe that’s you!) that they are not alone. For whatever reason each of us were dealt this hand from birth. For years many of us have considered it a curse. At CDI we believe that once liberated from the isolation of the closet that in time you will come to see your own transgenderism as a “gift”. So whether experienced or not, come - We welcome you, and we exist for you!

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