-Gender Awakenings: ” In Between Time”.
(from “Crossdressers’ (CDI) Monthly” , December, 1999)
Every CD has two sides: the original male persona with its responsibilities of job and family. Then the femme side, both the physical cosmetic “passable” part..and then the psychology of being a girl..letting go of the aggressive testoterone mind set..feeling rather than always acting. (“What’s the score ? Who won the game What’s the bottom line ?”).
But there’s a third side too. I’ve discovered it, and girls I know have confessed they experience it too. It’s what I call “In Between”. You’re on your way to the CDI apartment. You’ve left your male life; you’re carrying your female persona in a duffel bag. But you aren’t dressed yet.. You start to think about the maleness you’ve just left at home or at work and the female persona you’re about to assume. But you’re neither. You’re in Between.
I get quite philosophical about the male things I’ve just left that i love: the people, the events, the male lifestyle and, yes, the parts I want to let go too. As the subway pulls in and as I get closer to the apartment, I start to think about female me, what she likes, who she likes, and why she does it. Even as I dress, still In Between, that valuable time puts the two mes in perspective.
As the time comes to slide out of heels and stockings and to apply cold cream to my pretty face, the same thing happens in reverse as I transform from female to male.
It’s time well spent the In Between. Time to reflect on who and what’s most valuable..and why ! As though your life isn’t complicated with two personas, now it’s time to think about the Three Faces of You !